


everything

by snowglobes



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Minor Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Oh Sehun, honestly a sappy and gross conclusion to this series, taekai are gross and in love and it's cute okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 18:41:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20314195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowglobes/pseuds/snowglobes
Summary: To Jongin, Taemin is everything.





	everything

"Lee Taemin!"

An unfamiliar voice shouting Taemin's name woke Jongin up from a deep sleep. He jolted awake, registering several things in quick succession.

Taemin was wrapped in his arms, dead to the world and drooling on Jongin's shoulder a bit in his sleep.

The clock, when he looked at it, read an hour before he needed to be up, but well-past when Taemin should have been gone.

Taemin's manager was standing over Jongin's bed, glaring down at them. Jongin had never spoken to his manager before, didn't even know his name, but that didn't make his glare any less intimidating.

The fact that he  _ knew _ Taemin was here, specifically, was probably the most terrifying part, if Jongin was being honest.

"Um," Jongin croaked, his voice clogged with sleep and shock. "Hi?"

"Save it," Taemin's manager said, crossing his arms. "I'll deal with you later, Kim Jongin." He jerked his chin in the direction of Taemin. "Wake him up, before I dump a bucket of water on him."

Jongin gulped, turning back to Taemin and gently shaking him. "Tae, wake up."

Taemin groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, hiding his face in Jongin's neck. "'m tired, Nini. Wanna sleep."

His manager bent down, grabbing a bucket and hefting it above them menacingly. It looked like the bucket Sehun used when they mopped their floors every few months. Jongin shook Taemin harder. "Tae, baby, come on. Up."

"What?" Taemin groaned, his eyes slitting open.

"Too late," the manager said, upending the bucket of water all over them both.

Taemin exploded into motion, screeching like a dying cat as he was rudely forced into wakefulness. "Jonghyun what the  _ hell?"  _ He pushed dripping strands of hair from his eyes as he sat up.

"You're late," Jonghyun seethed. "You were supposed to be at the shoot half an hour ago." He dropped the bucket on Jongin's floor. "I want you downstairs and in the van in five minutes, or so help me Lee Taemin. And  _ you, _ " he rounded on Jongin. "I'll be calling you later, and you'd better answer." He turned and left Jongin's room, the door of Jongin's apartment beeping shut behind him a few moments later.

Jongin and Taemin sat in stunned, wet silence.

"You'd better go," Jongin said after a moment, sitting up and kissing Taemin softly on the cheek. "We can talk later."

Taemin nodded mutely, robotically getting up and grabbing his beanie and mask from Jongin's nightstand, putting them on. "I'll call you," he whispered, bending over swiftly to press their foreheads together before slipping from his room, then the apartment, much quieter than Jonghyun's thunderous exit.

Jongin was wet, scared, and wondering if he would ever be allowed to see Taemin again.

An hour later found Jongin at the kitchen table eating breakfast, his bedding hanging out on their balcony to dry.

"Eventful morning, huh?" Sehun remarked, as he sauntered into the room. "I didn't expect to be woken like that." He opened the fridge, pulling out some juice and moving to pour it into a glass.

"Oh, you heard that?" Jongin had been hoping Sehun had slept through that morning's events. On second thought, Taemin's screech when Jonghyun had dumped an entire bucket of water on them hadn't been quiet, and probably woke up most of their neighbors and also maybe the dead.

"Kind of hard not to, when someone bursts into your apartment yelling Lee Taemin's name, followed shortly by a screech from the prehistoric era." He sat across from Jongin at the table.

Jongin nodded into his cereal. "Yeah, tell me about it." He took a bite, not registering what Sehun had said for a few seconds. Then he choked. "Wait," he wheezed, trying to expel Lucky Charms from his throat. "You heard his--"

"Name?" Sehun smirked at him in an infuriatingly smug way. "Yeah. So, what's it like dating Lee Taemin?"

Jongin looked wildly around their apartment. "Is Tao here?"

"No. You're in luck; he didn't sleep over last night." A sly glance at Jongin from the corner of his eye. "Although apparently  _ your _ boyfriend did."

"Please don't tell anyone," Jongin pleaded, while Sehun took a calm drink of his juice. "Nobody can know."

"Don't worry lover boy. My lips are sealed."

Jongin frowned into his cereal. It wasn't that he didn't believe Sehun because he did, but he was worried about what Taemin would do when he found out Sehun knew who he was.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sehun's foot nudged his under the table.

Jongin bit his lip. "I'm just...worried I'll never get to see Taemin again. Or that his manager will make us stop dating." He swirled his spoon around the bowl. "I really like him."

Sehun made a soft noise of sympathy. "He knows our door code. I've known you were in deep for a while now." He kicked at Jongin until he looked up at Sehun. "You'll see him again. It's probably not as bad as you think it is."

Jongin smiled tightly. "Thanks, Sehun."

Sehun was right. It wasn't as bad as he thought it was.

It was still bad, though.

"That can't happen again," Jonghyun said, glaring at both Taemin and Jongin. He'd pulled them into one of the vocal practice rooms, soundproofed and about as private as one could find in the SM building. Jongin was going to be late for rehearsal with CBX, but something told him Jonghyun didn't care in the slightest.

"I haven't overslept in three years, hyung," Taemin protested. "Cut me a little slack. It won't happen again."

"If you think I'm upset because you merely overslept then you're an idiot." He held up a hand, cutting off Taemin before he could do anything more than open his mouth. "No. We've talked about this. You're allowed to date people as long as you're not reckless."

Jongin's stomach, while already queasy and nervous, sank to the floor. He was beginning to understand why Taemin was so intent on being careful, on nobody finding out.

"One time, hyung. It was one time." Taemin's jaw was clenched, his shoulders tense. He and Jongin were sitting side by side on a piano bench while Jonghyun paced in front of them. "It won't happen again."

Jonghyun eyed Taemin narrowly before he turned to Jongin. "You. Do you realize what Taemin is risking for you?"

Jongin gulped. He did, of course he did. He knew how much Taemin loved his life. Loved being an idol and performing, dancing. He knew by now, after a few months, just how much Taemin risked every time he snuck into Jongin's apartment in the dead of night. "Yeah, I know." He could barely look Jonghyun in the eyes.

"Don't bully him, hyung. He hasn't done anything wrong."

"I should make you stop seeing each other," Jonghyun began.

"No!" Taemin and Jongin said at the same time. Well, Jongin said, Taemin shouted. "Hyung, you can't," Taemin's voice was firm, but Jongin could see panic in his eyes.

Jongin desperately wanted to be with Taemin. "I'll do whatever you want, just let me keep seeing him," Jongin whispered, staring back at Jonghyun.

"Even if that means quitting your job here?" Jonghyun asked.

Jongin gasped. He'd known, logically, that he could get fired for being with Taemin, but that's not what Jonghyun was saying. He was asking if Jongin would be willing to give up his dream job, his desired career that he'd worked so hard for, just to be with Taemin.

He didn't really have to think about it.

"Yes, even then," he replied, hearing Taemin's sharp intake of breath next to him.

The room remained full of charged tension as Jongin met Jonghyun's unwavering stare.

Jonghyun smiled. "Well, that's good to know."

"I already said I was sorry, hyung," Taemin griped, while Jongin struggled to keep up with Jonghyun's shifting expressions. "I told you as soon as Jongin and I became serious, and I always tell you when I'm going over to see him. I'm doing everything you asked me to, none of this is Jongin's fault."

"I know," Jonghyun said with a soft smile. Gone was the intimidating stare that had pinned Jongin in place, replaced with an easy smile and kind eyes. "I needed to make sure he was as committed as you were, Tae."

"Wait, so we're not in trouble?" Jongin ventured, looking between Taemin and Jonghyun with confusion.

"Oh you definitely are," Jonghyun said breezily. "But like Taemin said earlier, this was the first mistake, and so we're going to lay out some ground rules that all of us agree on and stick to them."

"That seems reasonable," Jongin agreed, relaxing slightly.

"Only because you don't know him," Taemin groaned, slumping against Jongin. "Just wait until you hear what he comes up with."

In the end, the rules weren't as bad as Taemin made them out to be. Jongin had a new contact in his phone so that he could text Jonghyun if he ever needed to, Taemin had promised to always set his alarm, and Jonghyun had agreed to let them continue seeing each other.

Jongin was shaky when he finally made it to CBX rehearsal, falling into place with muttered apologies while Yixing gave him a concerned look in the mirrors.

Yixing pulled him aside during a break an hour later. "Everything okay? It's unlike you to be late to practice, and you look pretty shaken up."

Jongin smiled tightly. "I'm fine. Just something a bit unexpected happened this morning. It's fine, just taking a while for the shock to wear off."

Yixing's mouth pulled to one side, clearly doubting. "If you say so. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Thanks, Yixing."

The rest of practice went smoothly, and by the time Jongin was returning home he'd almost forgotten about the rough morning.

"So, do you still have a boyfriend?" Sehun asked, almost the second Jongin walked in the door.

"Yes, Sehun," Jongin sighed, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and pretend the day hadn't happened.

He wanted to hold Taemin. To know everything was truly going to be alright, but he doubted Taemin would be coming over again that night. He'd have to cope on his own.

"Oh good," Sehun said, following Jongin into the kitchen. "I made dinner and saved you some. It's in the fridge."

Jongin retrieved the food Sehun had set aside and began devouring it. He'd been starving. "Thanks," he said through a mouthful of food. "I needed this."

"I also put your sheets back on your bed for you once they'd dried. I figured you wouldn't feel like doing it yourself when you got home."

Jongin's nose began to burn, his eyes stinging with tears. "Thank you, Sehun." It had been a long, emotionally stressful day, and Sehun's kindness was tipping him over the edge.

Sehun sniffed, looking away. "It's nothing."

Jongin shuffled over and placed a hand on Sehun's shoulder. "It's not nothing. It means a lot."

"You're welcome, Nini," Sehun said with a soft, warm smile.

"I'm going to need to punch a wall to feel manly after witnessing that display," Tao drawled, leaning against the entry to the kitchen.

"Shut up, Tao," Jongin and Sehun chorused.

Later, when Jongin was alone in his room and Tao and Sehun were giggling in the living room, he sat on his freshly made bed and thought about everything that had happened. It was one of the longest days he could remember having in recent memory.

He was exhausted.

Collapsing back onto his pillows, Jongin quickly fell asleep, dead to the world.

He woke sometime in the middle of the night to a familiar body squirming into place next to his.

"I didn't think you would come over tonight," he murmured softly, making Taemin freeze in place.

"I couldn't stay away," Taemin admitted, moving again. He settled against Jongin, an arm around his waist. "I'm so sorry about what happened this morning, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you my manager knew about us."

Jongin sighed, pulling Taemin close. "It's okay. I'm not upset."

"Good." Taemin gently kissed his neck. "Go back to sleep."

"Sehun knows," Jongin whispered, needing Taemin to know.

"Knows what?" Taemin asked sleepily, his knee slipping between Jongin's legs.

"He heard Jonghyun shout your name this morning. He was home."

Taemin jolted in his arms.  _ "What?" _

"It's okay," Jongin soothed, finding it hard to calm Taemin's panic when his own was rising as a result of Taemin's. "He's not going to tell anyone. He's safe, Tae."

Taemin squirmed against him. "I know that, logically, but I'm still worried."

"We'll be careful. He was bound to find out sooner or later. Besides, he cares about me too much to make me unhappy by accidentally exposing us or something. He could never." He took a deep, calming breath. "I was terrified that Jonghyun was going to make us stop seeing each other. I don't want to lose you."

He couldn't read Taemin's facial expression in the dark, but he could feel the gentle press of his lips against Jongin's. "I wouldn't let him separate us. I couldn't bear it."

Jongin searched until he found Taemin's lips again, kissing him deeply. "You mean so much to me. You're worth the risk."

He felt Taemin smile against him. "I feel the same way."

Jongin held him close, letting Taemin's presence soothe away the stress and anxiety of the day, breathing in the clean smell of him.

"I'm going to start getting busier, with my comeback coming up," Taemin whispered. "We won't get to see each other very often."

"Okay," Jongin replied, voice just as quiet. "We'll make it work."

He would always fight to make it work.

Taemin's comeback kept not only Taemin busy, but Jongin as well. He was scheduled for all the rehearsals, and while the title track was what Taemin would be performing on all the networks, Jongin was also taught new choreography for all of Taemin's new songs.

He was going on tour, a few weeks after his comeback, and Jongin was going with him. He was excited, despite knowing that he wasn't going to get much sleep in the weeks leading up to it. Life reduced down to dancing, eating and sleeping, sometimes with Taemin in his arms, but alone more often than not as preparations for the tour made Taemin too busy to do anything else. 

By the time they’d arrived at the first tour stop in Japan, Jongin hadn’t seen Taemin in two weeks. His mother had always said that absence made the heart grow fonder, but for Jongin, that meant he was achingly aware of exactly how in love with Taemin he was. 

Hopelessly, irreversibly in love. 

_ Come to my room? _

Jongin looked at the text from Taemin, excitement racing through him at the prospect of seeing him again after so long. It should have been embarrassing, maybe, how quickly he made it two floors up, looking around to make sure the hallway was empty before knocking softly on the door to Taemin’s room. 

The door whipped open, Taemin reaching out and yanking him through, only to press Jongin against the door, lips demanding and hot against his own. 

“I missed you, baby,” Taemin panted against his neck, several minutes later. 

Jongin’s hands were knotted in his hair, forcibly tilting his head to the side so he could trail kisses down to his shoulder, ravenous for the taste of him.

“I love you,” Jongin breathed, keeping Taemin close and hiding in his shoulder, afraid of the weight of his words. “So much.”

He could hear the way Taemin’s breathing stuttered next to his ear, the hitch in his voice right before he replied, “Me too. I love you too.”

Jongin pulled back, feeling his cheek muscles protest as a smile so wide it felt like it was ripping him in half stretched across his face. “Yeah?”

Taemin laughed, hugging him tightly around the waist, pressing close. “Of course I do, you giant puppy.”

Jongin sputtered. “Puppy?”

Taemin’s eyes danced with mirth. “No?” He tilted his head, sparkling eyes roving over his features. “You’re right, you’re more like a sleepy bear cub.”

“That’s  _ worse.” _

“It’s what my fans are calling you.” Taemin snickered, pressing a kiss to Jongin’s nose as he scrunched it up. 

“What?”

Taemin nodded. “They noticed you after my comeback stages. Apparently you have quite the stage presence. I think they’ll have a fan club for you soon.”

Jongin kissed him again, walking Taemin back into the room proper, until his knees hit the back of the bed and Jongin crawled over him, famished for every brush of skin on skin. “I’ll only allow it if you’re my number one fan,” he whispered, rucking up Taemin’s shirt to nip at his stomach, the lean lines of muscle flexing as Taemin gasped under him. 

“Oh, how I’ve missed you, Nini.” 

And that was the last thing either of them managed to say for a long, long time. 

Tour was  _ fun. _

Taemin was the most relaxed and carefree Jongin had ever seen him, although that could have something to do with the way Jonghyun had arranged for them to be able to share a hotel room wherever they went. (“See, I told you, he’s great,” Taemin had said, in reply to Jongin’s awe that Jonghyun had done that for them.) He knew it couldn’t last forever, that the tour would end and they would have to resort to sneaking around once more, but Jongin had long since admitted to himself that he was in this for the long haul. Taemin, in all his eccentric ways, his magnetic stage presence, the graceful way he danced, had captured Jongin body and soul, and he wasn’t ever going to escape.

Not that he would ever want to.

“Tao and I went to Taemin’s concert last night,” Sehun remarked, sounding like he was chewing as he talked to Jongin on the phone. 

“You guys came out to Japan?” Jongin was sitting in a quiet corner backstage stretching while Taemin did soundcheck, trying to work out lingering soreness in his hips. Taemin had been ruthless last night, full of post-concert adrenaline that Jongin had begged him to expend on him.

It was worth the soreness he’d be dancing with.

“Yeah, we’re out here on a trip. Since Taozi graduated and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about with Taemin.”

“And?”

“I can see why you’re so whipped. He’s very charming, and you two are very cute on stage together.”

Jongin groaned as he moved into a stretch that pulled against his IT band, trying to relax and breathe through the burn. “Are we too obvious or something?”

A snort. “What, you mean you coming up on Taemin from behind and practically pulling his shirt up over his head was supposed to be subtle?”

“The fans love it.”

“I’m sure they do. Judging by the screams, they also loved it when you dumped an entire water bottle over him when he was wearing a white shirt. The way that clung to him had  _ Tao _ blushing.”

“I can’t help it. It’s so much fun to tease him on stage, and the other dancers do it too.” 

“Mmmm yes, but they aren’t trending on Naver like you are.”

“I’m _ what?” _

“Yeah, Nini. You and Taemin have this whole following. Pretty sure I saw a  _ Smoopi  _ article about how you have the friendship of the decade.” 

Shit. That didn’t seem good. Maybe they should scale back on the playful antics. “Am I being too obvious?” 

There was a pause, which Jongin chose to interpret as contemplative rather than ominous. “No, I don’t think so. I’ll keep on the lookout, and let you know if it gets too out of control.”

“Will you send me the links to those articles? I should probably pass them along to Taemin’s manager.”

“Wow, you’re really worried about this aren’t you?” Sehun sounded surprised, like Jongin hadn’t spent hours stressing about what it would do to Taemin if they were found out. 

“Yeah, of course. You know I am. I don’t want to lose him.”

His phone pinged a few times through his headphones, notifying him that Sehun had already sent the texts. 

“Relax, Jongin. It’s nothing. Just the fans having fun.” There was a pause. “You love him that much?”

Waving caught his eye; one of the cordinoonas motioning for him to come get hair and makeup done. “You know I do, Sehun. I’ve got to go get ready for the show. Thanks for the links.”

“Break a leg.”

Jongin got up off the floor, ending the call and immediately forwarding the links on to Jonghyun, asking him to take a look and see if there was a problem. Sehun was probably right, and it was nothing to worry about, but Jongin wasn’t about to lose the most important person in his life due to carelessness. 

“You’ll both have to be more careful, I think,” Jonghyun was saying that night after the show, the three of them holed up in Taemin’s room. “But this is common tour talk, especially when Taemin gets playful with his dancers. You don’t need to worry, Jongin.”

His shoulders relaxed, tension bleeding out of him. He’d been more aware of his hands, his movements, the looks he gave Taemin all night, and he was exhausted. 

“Okay, thanks hyung.” Taemin saw Jonghyun out, then came back to where Jongin was still in a post-anxiety haze. “Jongin? You okay?”

He pulled Taemin into his arms, falling back onto the bed with Taemin on his chest, letting his hands stroke up and down Taemin’s back, calming himself down. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“I don’t want to lose you. I’m so scared that I’ll be too obvious, that the fans will figure it out, that I’ll ruin your career.”

“Hey.” Taemin leaned up on his elbows, hovering over Jongin to look him in the eye, expression serious. “Nothing like that is going to happen.”

Jongin sighed, relaxing further, letting himself get lost in the slow, sticky kisses Taemin drew him into. “Promise?”

Taemin chuckled. “I can’t promise that, and you know it. But I can promise that you’re worth the risk. What we have is what I’ve been searching for all my days. With you, breathing is nothing. Everything feels alright.” He kissed him again, slowly. “You ground me. You’re home.”

Jongin squeezed him tighter. “Okay. You’re so incredible. I’m lucky to have you and glad I’m worth the risk to you.”

He felt Taemin’s laugh, more than heard it, his breath hot against Jongin’s neck. “Oh, my love. You’re worth everything to me.”

As Taemin slowly took him apart, as they got lost in one another, Jongin marveled at how wonderful it was to have Taemin, and to be had in return. Their relationship may never be known except to their close friends, and it might be unconventional, but it was  _ theirs. _ And that, to Jongin, was everything. 

**Author's Note:**

> here ends this indulgent series of which I recall very little as it was mostly written in a fever dream. but i'm glad to have it done and out of my wip folder!! on to bigger things!! please drop kudos/comments, they feed me and motivate me to write more.
> 
> Thanks for taking this messy, taekai ride with me <3


End file.
